Why Sticking With It Has Nothing to Do With Discipline

My sister has an astounding 409 day streak on Wordle. And yet, she cannot seem to crack the code on creating similar success with her daily water intake.

Anyone out there relate?

I’m sensing many heads nodding.

Because mine is, too.

While I could never get into a good rhythm with my FitBit, not a day goes by without making sure my Oura Ring is charged and on my finger.

Up until recently, I routinely forgot to take my Vitamin D and multivitamin. But for the last few weeks, I haven’t missed a dose of this drinkable supplement.

Same purpose. Same goals. Completely different results. 

I had to wonder…what gives?

Let’s take a quick trip in the way-back machine for a moment, to the early 90s where it all began. A recently-graduated Carla was living on Manhattan’s Upper East Side, and just down the street from our apartment was a – wait for it – Lucille Roberts fitness center. After the free trial, I ponied up the money for membership and my head was immediately filled with images of after-work StairMaster sessions, chatting it up at the water station with all of my new gym buddies, the requisite white towel draped around my neck as we compared our workouts and made plans to grab drinks afterwards.

Yeahhhhh…I think I walked through the door a handful of times before ghosting it all together. I continued to pay the monthly fee out of embarrassment and a bit of hope that maybe I’d ‘get back into it’ someday.

Thus began a decades-long pattern of big dreams and little follow through on the fitness front. From Lucille Roberts to 8 Minute Abs to the local Y to a Beachbody membership to a personal trainer, I went all in with renewed motivation and the earnest belief that ‘this time, it’ll be different.”

With each successive failure (mocking credit card statement not withstanding) my new belief became “I’m just not a workout girlie.”

For years, I wouldn’t even allow myself to buy ‘fancy’ workout gear because I felt like a fraud. In my mind, I didn’t deserve to wear Lululemon because I didn’t really work out.

And then, two distinct instances shattered the pattern that had plagued me.

In 2016, my husband introduced me to a colleague who was looking for a training partner. I went from taking an occasional jog through the local park to waking up at 5:30am, 3X a week, to clock a few miles with my new running buddy.

Then, in 2019, I accompanied a friend to a trial class at a local group fitness gym as a favor. We ended up joining and I became a regular attendee…like, a 4-5 days a week regular.

Talk about a total 180. 

So much for that self-proclaimed “not a workout girlie,” right?

What was it about those experiences? Why was I able to be consistent with two seemingly ‘way out of my comfort zone’ endeavors when I had repeatedly failed to do so in the past? 

Naturally, I had to investigate, and when I compared them side by side, the similarities surfaced. 

Both felt safe and supportive. Both gave me community and built-in accountability – if I wasn't outside by 6am, my running buddy was going to honk the horn or worse, ring the doorbell. Both were calendared, same days, same time. Both were structured so I never had to figure out what to do. And both delivered feedback I could see and feel.

As it turns out, the variable was never discipline.

It was never about me being a failure, or lazy or irresponsible or bad with money.

It was fit.

It was about me understanding ME.

Understanding what I actually needed to show up, and to KEEP showing up.

Soooo…

About 6 weeks ago, I put that self-knowledge to the test.

My sister signed up for an online fitness influencer’s 30-Day Challenge.

I’d been seeing this same influencer in my algorithm and was both intrigued and skeptical. Was I really going to pay the $$ to workout at home? Was I really going to track my meals and do the whole cottage cheese-and-greek-yogurt-in-everything routine?

That pesky little naysayer in my head wasted no time fanning those flames. 

You’ll never follow through, she said. Don’t commit. Don’t spend the money. You’ve tried this before and failed. There’s no way you’ll keep at it.

And, if I’m honest, I was inclined – once again – to believe her.

Ultimately, though, my algorithm and optimism won.  I signed on.

But the self-sabotaging didn’t stop there. 

At the outset of the 30-day Challenge, I thought to myself, maybe I’ll just ‘try it out.’ I’ll be a fly on the wall. I’ll dip my toe in with a few of the workouts and see how it goes before committing to the actual challenge.

I mean…really? What was THAT about?

Three words:

Fear.

Doubt.

Pre-Shame.

What if I can’t keep up? Maybe I need to work out before I start these workouts. What if I don’t finish the Challenge? What if this is just another waste of money.

And then I caught myself from spiraling headfirst down that same old rabbit hole.

I took a pause, got really real about all the stories and asked myself the hard questions – the ones my clients know all too well:

• What about doing this is important to you?

• Which of your top values will be honored by doing this, and how?

• What does success look and feel like?

• How will you know when you’ve been successful?

• What obstacles might get in the way and how do you want to handle them?

Getting clear on those questions was the push I needed to go all-in on this 30 Day Challenge. 

This wasn’t about proving anything to anyone other than myself. It wasn’t about showing off (See 04/03/26 issue re: Being vs. Performing), but rather showing up for the reasons that actually matter to me.

The biggest breakthrough of all, though, might have been the permission slip to show myself grace and kindness if/when I missed a day here and there, rather than submitting it as evidence of my inevitable failure.

Sticking with something longterm isn't necessarily about willpower or having the "best" program, product, or accessories. 

It's about self-knowledge and self-love.

When you understand the conditions under which you thrive, you stop white-knuckling and start building around what actually works for you.

So, if you’re struggling to move forward with a goal, stay consistent with rituals or build new habits, I encourage you to lean into the questions I shared above as a starting point towards that deeper understanding of who you are and what matters most to you right now.

And while these questions can be powerful on their own, there really is a difference between asking them in your own head and having someone across from you who won't let you off the hook, second guess your responses, or judge them. Someone who hears the story you're telling yourself and asks, How true is that? And What might change if you believed something different?

If you've been circling something and can't quite break through on your own, that's not a sign you're failing. It's a sign you're ready for a thought partner.

You know where to find me 🙂

My Spring/Summer 2026 calendar is officially open!