Overcoming Self-Doubt: What Beyoncé's Grammy Win for Best Country Song Taught Me About Breaking Free

Several years back, I reconnected with a former boss. I was at a professional crossroads (again) and actively networking to figure out my next career move. Even though it had been years since I’d worked with them, they offered to create a role for me. Here was my immediate thought:

“But I’m not qualified.”

One look at my resume would suggest otherwise. 20 years in PR. 12 years as an award winning sales leader, team builder and business mentor. 

Impressive by most standards. They could see it. They believed in me.  

And yet, I couldn't. I didn't believe in myself. 

Because I’d left the traditional corporate route for the life of a work-from-home/stay-at-home mom, I felt like a fraud sitting in that office. Who was I to think I could fit right back in this world. My experience, expertise and abilities? Poof. Gone, I guess? Apparently, they’d left the building when I did. 

We all know that's bullshit ridiculous thinking. But in that moment? It was my truth. 

I wish I could say that was the last time I let intrusive thoughts sap my confidence and keep me from believing in myself and my abilities. But I’d be lying. 

Now, whether you cheered or rolled your eyes at Beyonce’s win for best country song of the year at last weekend’s Grammy Awards, one thing that wasn’t controversial was her acceptance speech in which she shared a relatable truth - one that often holds us back from taking chances, branching out and making new choices for ourselves. 

Sub out the word ‘genre’ for job title, marital status, age, lifestyle choices, and the like. We all have our own code words that can keep us in our place - self imposed or otherwise.  

“I’m X years old. It’s too late to start something new.”

“I’ve been at home with my kids for decades. I’m not qualified to do anything.”

“Once a teacher, always a teacher.”

“I’m unhappy, but at least I’m not alone.”

“Who am I without a my career?” 

But who's really keeping us stuck? Who's keeping us in that box? 

Whether you call it a gremlin, a saboteur, or just a general pain in the ass, it’s more often than not the little voice inside our head grabbing the microphone in moments like this. 

Now, in its defense, that voice is there for a reason. It believes it's keeping you safe—shielding you from harm, embarrassment, or failure. And in many cases, it serves you well.

"Don’t put your hand on the burning stove."

"Look both ways before crossing the street."

"Triple-check that email before you hit send."

It scans your memory like a hyper-vigilant security system, searching for cues and clues to help you avoid danger, rejection, or even mild discomfort. But sometimes, it’s operating on outdated information—like an overprotective parent who hasn’t realized we’ve grown up. 

It warns you not to speak up in a meeting because of that one time in third grade when you got laughed at for giving the wrong answer. It tells you not to take that big risk because you failed once before, completely ignoring how much you've learned and grown since then.

The problem isn’t that the voice exists—it’s that we take it at face value; that we assume our thoughts must be true and so we act on them.  

If you’re a regular reader of The Purposeful Pivot then you likely know what I’m about to say.  

All together now:  

Yes, our thoughts are pervasive (35,000 every day!) They’re freakin’ persuasive, too! 

Our thoughts hold so much power over us because they impact our feelings which inspire our actions which ultimately creates our reality. 

Let me say it again for the people in the back: We are not our thoughts!

How do I know that? The very fact that we can observe and notice our thoughts means that they exist outside of us. And when you can internalize this concept, it unlocks a tremendous amount of freedom. Because if we are not our thoughts, then we are in a position to change our thoughts; to choose ones that support us instead of tear us down.  

For example, what if, instead of letting that little voice inside our head (aka - our thoughts) dictate our actions, we got curious about what it’s really trying to protect us from? What if we could learn to thank it for its concern… and then put it to work for us in a different way - choosing a new, more powerful message for that little voice to deliver - one that empowers us, builds us up and moves us forward to step outside the box we put ourselves in? 

Because just as Beyoncé refused to be confined by musical genres, we don't have to be confined by our own limiting narratives. 

I opened up Rick Rubin’s book The Creative Act the other night when I couldn’t sleep, and within the first few pages, I read something that stopped me in my tracks:

"Regardless of whether or not we're formally making art, we are all living as artists. We perceive, filter, and collect data, then curate an experience for ourselves and others based on this information set. Whether we do this consciously or unconsciously, by the mere fact of being alive, we are active participants in the ongoing process of creation." -- Rick Rubin, The Creative Act

Think about that for a moment. Every day, we're creating our reality through the choices we make, the stories we tell ourselves, and the boundaries we choose to accept or challenge. When we let those limiting thoughts - those "code words" - define us, we're essentially choosing to paint with just one color when we have an entire spectrum at our disposal.

And yet, seeing the full spectrum of possibilities isn't always easy when we're standing too close to our own canvas. I know this all too well. 

Just as I once dismissed years of corporate experience because I'd "become a stay-at-home mom," I now guide others at similar crossroads. They come to me seeking practical strategies for change - a new job, a career switch, a life transition. Yet what typically emerges is a profound realization: the biggest barriers aren't external at all.

The most powerful moments aren't when we find the perfect next step (although that’s a win, too!) - they're when someone discovers they've been living within boundaries they never consciously chose. That the nagging feeling of misalignment they've been pushing aside isn’t selfish or wrong. It's their inner wisdom whispering that it's simply time to paint with different colors, to explore new genres of their own life story.

The journey of expanding beyond our self-imposed boundaries is deeply personal, yet we don't have to navigate it alone. Sometimes the most powerful first step is having someone to hold up a mirror, to create space for us to explore what's possible when we let go of those limiting "genres" we've accepted as truth. To help us see the masterpiece that's waiting to emerge when we give ourselves permission to paint with all the colors that call to us.